Self-respect and Knowing God

There is a powerful relationship between self-respect and knowing God, between emotional health and knowing God deeply.

self-respect and knowing God

If you have been reading this blog for long, you know the theme verse:

“Thus says the LORD:
‘Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom,
let not the mighty man boast in his might,
let not the rich man boast in his riches,
but let him who boasts boast in this,
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the LORD
who practices steadfast love,
justice, and righteousness in the earth.
For in these things I delight,
declares the LORD.’”

(Jeremiah 9:23–24, ESV)

Boasting has a prominent place in this important verse.

The word boast can be used in two senses, one positive, one negative. The negative sense is the familiar one that comes first to mind, but the positive sense of the noun boast is simply “a cause for pride” (Merriam-Webster). That is, a cause for feeling good about yourself, a cause for feeling you have value, a reason to respect yourself.

All people need this kind of pride, and it is not wrong in God’s sight if a person does not take credit for it. He wants us to have a legitimate boast because he created us with value—and to have a sense of value—and he wants us to know what that value is and where it comes from.

People who do not have a legitimate boast become unhealthy in every way, feeling they have no worth, loathing or disrespecting themselves, feeling that others including God disdain them, and as a result relating to others and God with difficulty, wishing they did not exist, performing poorly in work, and on and on.

So in this verse God teaches us what sort of human boast he approves of. More than any other quality in your life, what should you feel good about? What gives you ultimate value? What accomplishments merit enduring honor?

Common ways people seek self-respect

Before giving his answer, the Lord dismisses the usual suspects. What does the wise man or woman—the expert, the business consultant who is so successful she can charge $10,000 for her advice, or the best-selling how-to author who can charge the same to give one speech—typically regard as her boast? Of course, her boast is her wisdom, her “secret sauce,” her understanding of how things work and how people can get what they want. She has done it, and she can help you do it. She feels good about knowing that.

But the Lord says, “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom.”

What does “the mighty man” boast in? Naturally the man with muscles, the man with height and weight who towers over others in a crowd and could manhandle anyone, who could be the dominant pass-rusher on the finest football team—he feels good about his might. When he, not wearing a shirt, looks in the mirror, he takes pride in what he sees.

But the Lord says, “let not the mighty man boast in his might.”

We could add, let not the beautiful woman boast in her beauty, cosmetic skills, and wardrobe.

And what does the rich man boast in? The size of his investment account. A man who values money, who opens his Fidelity account and sees the number $10,000,000, feels good about himself. He knows the skillful things he did to earn that money, the hard work he poured into it, and the shrewd ways he invested to make it grow. He knows most people do not have numbers that size in their investment accounts.

Yet God says, “Let not the rich man boast in his riches.”

Whether we are talking about a wise, mighty, or rich person who is ungodly or godly, in any case, what God says applies to them. Do not make your human strength and ability your primary boast, your ultimate reason for self-respect.

Self-respect and knowing God

And then God makes clear what should be our source of legitimate pride: “Let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me.” Expertise is nice to have; muscles, fitness, and beauty are nice; money and possessions are nice, but none can begin to compare to the value and benefit of knowing God.

For starters, expertise, muscles, beauty, and wealth are temporary. They all pass away. Sooner or later we lose them all. They are like soap bubbles.

My wife and I were visiting our son and his family on a fall day a few months ago, and they had a toy for the kids with a long, narrow wand that you dipped in a tall soap bottle and waved in the air to create amazing, huge, colorful bubbles. I guess the soap solution was also special in some way, producing bigger, longer-lasting bubbles. The bubbles floated away in the fall breeze with the sunlight sparkling on them in rainbow colors. I was impressed with their size and beauty, and the kids were squealing with pleasure. But eventually they burst in the air or hit the ground. Imagine spending your life savings to buy one of those bubbles.

That truly is what you are doing if you base your worth on wisdom, might, beauty, or wealth. Sooner or later that pretty bubble that you and others admire is going to pop.

On the other hand, if you put your boast in knowing God, you are investing in what you can never lose. God is the only sure thing. He is not going anywhere or going away. He is permanent. Whatever you invest in knowing him lasts forever, and whatever self-respect you gain from knowing God endures. This is one relationship that will not come and go.

Knowing God and moving up in the world

Moreover, self-respect that comes from knowing God is not like settling for an inferior job until you can find something better. Most people choose between living—really living, doing the thing that brings them true joy and fulfillment—and doing what pays well enough to keep the lights and water on. And so they reluctantly decide to take a job that may feel pointless but at least pays the bills and gives a few hours of free time each week for what really brings happiness.

Knowing God is not like that. He is not the necessary, inferior choice. He is the superior choice. For he is the ultimate person. He is the only good person. He is the most creative, knowledgeable, and interesting person. And he is the most loving person. He is the most beautiful and inspiring person. He is infinitely superior to us in every imaginable way—the most excellent person. And he is literally perfect and without limitation. Absolutely pure—clean, morally sanitary—and thus eternally healthful to one’s body, soul, and spirit. He is kind, gracious, generous, compassionate, patient, benevolent.

When you choose to boast in knowing God over all other boasts and make it your goal to know him better every day, it is as though you were the poorest person in the world marrying the richest person in the world, or the most disfigured guy in the world marrying the world’s most beautiful super-model, or the lowest IQ in the world marrying the greatest genius in the world. When you choose to boast in knowing God, you are “marrying” way up—infinitely up.

Knowing God is the most rewarding, delightful, and inexhaustible knowledge you can have, and it gives you true worth, not a soap bubble.

Jeremiah 9:23–24: “Thus says the LORD: ‘Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the LORD.’” (ESV)