Does your view of God’s love agree with the Christian gospel? If not, do you still think you’re right? How can you be so sure? Have you ever been wrong about anything? What happens if you’re wrong about God?
If you are not a Christian, the good news of the Christian gospel is that God loves you. Scripture says, “God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16 ESV).
But there may be a problem. He loves you in a way that is probably different than you think.
In this article I contrast four common assumptions about God’s love with what the gospel teaches.
1. The common view of God’s love is that it is unconditional. In fact, God’s love is both unconditional and conditional.
If God’s love is unconditional, that means no matter what you do he feels good about you, puts no conditions on you, and requires nothing from you. He loves like the stereotypical mother who loves her son even if he has done horrible things and is sitting in prison.
The truth is God both loves us no matter what and requires a response from us if we are to know him.
Scripture teaches this fact in the most famous verse in the Bible about God’s love: John 3:16–18:
“16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.”
Here we see the unconditional side of God’s love: he gave his only Son to save the people of the world from perishing.
Still, the conditional side of God’s love is, he requires that people believe in Jesus. Whoever refuses to believe in Jesus is “condemned” (verse 18 above).
2. The common view of God’s love is that it is not judgmental. In fact, God’s love is both non-judgmental and judgmental.
No one enjoys feeling guilty. No wrongdoer wants to be held accountable. No one wants to be judged by others. In particular, no one wants to be judged by an all-knowing, perfectly righteous God.
Consequently it has become popular in our time to think of God as someone who loves us so much that he does not judge us. He doesn’t tell us we’re doing wrong, doesn’t make any rules, doesn’t punish anyone, especially in the areas of sexual practices, marriage and family choices, and pleasure-seeking.
There is truth to the idea that God has a non-judgmental side. Jesus said, “I did not come to judge the world but to save the world” (John 12:47). John 3:17, quoted above, says, “God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” Jesus was “a friend of tax collectors and sinners” (Matthew 11:19). Jesus said he came “to seek and to save the lost” (Luke 19:10).
And since the time of Jesus, those Christians who have properly understood the Lord’s teaching have related to non-Christians in the same way.
However, we take this truth completely out of context if we assume it is the whole truth on the subject. John 3:16–18, quoted above, says that those who persist in unbelief will be “condemned.”
Jesus continually warned people about God’s coming judgment. (For example, see Matthew 7:21–23; Matthew 12:37; Matthew 25:31–46; Mark 9:43)
What we find when we read the whole New Testament is that humanity is living in a window of opportunity when God is offering grace and mercy to sinners through faith in Jesus, but this season will someday end. The Scripture says, “‘In a favorable time I listened to you, and in a day of salvation I have helped you.’ Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation” (2 Corinthians 6:2). God is the righteous and just judge of his creation, and he has not done away with calling all people to account for evildoing. Rather, he is largely delaying judgment to the day called the Final Judgment (see Revelation 20:11–15; Romans 14:10–12; 2 Corinthians 5:10).
3. The common view of God’s love is that he is not angry. In fact, God is both patiently gracious and rightfully angry with non-Christians.
No one wants to be around an angry person, especially if he is angry at you. Therefore it is not pleasant to think that the almighty ruler of everything is angry. When we think of the God who describes himself as love (1 John 4:8), we might assume that he is continually quiet, peaceful, benign, gentle, humble, comfortable to be around no matter what you think, say, or do.
And God is in fact the “God of peace” (Romans 15:33). He hates violence (Genesis 6:11–13). Jesus said, “I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:29). In one of the most important revelations in the Bible, God described himself to Moses as “merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin” (Exodus 34:6–7). He is rich in “kindness and forbearance and patience” (Romans 2:4).
But the fact that God is “slow to anger” (see above) does not mean he never gets angry. There would be something wrong with a God who did not feel anger at the sort of evil people do to each other in this troubled world. (Do you ever get angry at evildoers, especially those who wrong you?)
The Bible says, “Whoever believes in the Son [that is, Jesus] has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him” (John 3:36).
There we see the phrase “wrath of God.” The wrath of God is real. The Bible speaks of it repeatedly in both the Old and New Testaments (for example, Nahum 1:2; Ephesians 5:6; Romans 1:18; Revelation 6:15–17; 19:15). Jesus can remove God’s wrath from us, but if we refuse to submit to Jesus, God’s wrath “remains on” us (John 3:36), and someday we will experience it in full, unending measure.
4. The common view of God’s love is that he accepts everyone. In fact, he accepts everyone who accepts Jesus, but he rejects those who persist in rejecting Jesus.
We all want acceptance. Rejection is extremely painful. And so, in our culture we value inclusion and bristle at exclusion. We pass laws to ensure equal opportunity for all.
One of the most attractive truths about God is how accepting he is of those commonly rejected. He turns the world upside down, gladly receiving the poor, the weak, the failures, the sick, the old, the young, the people of any color or religious or family or sexual background, the ignorant, the uneducated, the marginalized, the helpless, the powerless, the needy, the meek, the unattractive, the awkward, the undeserving, the people with a criminal record. These are God’s kind of people because they are often humble and grateful for the Lord’s gifts.
Scripture says, “God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God” (1 Corinthians 1:27–29).
And one of the astounding truths of the Christian gospel is that the holy God who judges all people will gladly accept anyone who will turn to him in repentance and through faith in Jesus Christ, no matter what wrongs they have committed or how they have broken bad. Scripture says of Jesus, “He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:11–12).
God will accept all who receive—accept—Jesus as their Lord and Savior, turning from their evil ways and believing what he says.
However, God also rejects people. He rejects those who reject the gracious gift of his beloved Son, whom the God the Father lovingly gave to an evil world, whom he mercifully gave to suffer and die for our evil thinking, evil speaking, and evil doing. We deserved only condemnation; he gave a way to have forgiveness.
But he limits this gift to those who will turn to him in repentance and believe in his Son.
Those who reject God’s gift have chosen the alternative, which is to get what they deserve, which is holy justice. So, every person has the choice to receive mercy or justice.
Scripture says, “Whoever believes in the Son of God has the testimony in himself. Whoever does not believe God has made him a liar, because he has not believed in the testimony that God has borne concerning his Son. And this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life” (1 John 5:10–12).
Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6).
Our way and God’s way
Our way: We want God to love people in a sentimental way.
God’s way: He is love, and he is God. He has revealed in the gospel how his perfect love works. God’s love is not sentimental, but holy and righteous and entirely good.
Life principle: Those who are not God, those who are imperfect themselves in love, those who are morally and spiritually broken, those who often fail to love the people around them, should not presume to tell God how to love. We need to humble ourselves and acknowledge that God is infinitely greater in every way than we are, and be grateful for his sacrificial, merciful love. We don’t deserve it, but God has graciously offered salvation, at the cost of great suffering to himself (his torture and death on the cross). If we want his mercy instead of his justice, then we need to accept his love on his terms. You can’t come to your Creator, Sustainer, and Lord on your terms.
Jeremiah 9:23–24: “Thus says the LORD: ‘Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the LORD.’” (ESV)