True disciples forgive those who wrong them
Jesus tells the price of bitterness.
Matthew 18:21–35 (ESV) says,
21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”
22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made.
26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’
27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.
28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’
29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’
30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.
31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place.
32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.’”
Big money
In Bible times a talent was a unit of money equal to 20 years of wages for a laborer. I calculated what the wages of a carpenter would be over a period of 20 years, and the amount was roughly $1,200,000. In Bible times a talent was worth $1,200,000! Multiply that times 10,000 and you have 12 billion dollars in today’s money.
On the other hand, a denarius was worth one day’s wages. So if a laborer earns $20 an hour working say 10 hours, that is $200. Or on the low side, compute at a minimum wage of $16 an hour working for just 8 hours a day, which comes to $128 total. So, in today’s value, this fellow bond servant owed his colleague somewhere between $130–200. Compared to $12 billion.
This is God’s perspective on a person who claims to be a Christian and claims to be forgiven of their sins and yet holds a grudge against someone else.
You may have good reason to be angry
Now, this is not saying you have not suffered a great wrong from someone. Someone may have sexually molested you. Someone may have stolen from you a lot of money or possessions. Your parents might have mistreated or neglected you or been partial to one of your siblings. You might have lost your job because someone lied about you.
Knowing what Jesus said, some still refuse to forgive the person who wronged them. They know what they are doing. They choose to hold on to their bitterness and hatred. In this parable, Jesus calls that wickedness. “You wicked servant” (Matt. 18:32). If you have been forgiven by God, it is a wicked thing to withhold forgiveness from others.
James 2:13 says, “Judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.”
Forgive without delay
A bitter person on the road to being condemned is not a true disciple of Jesus, but rather a false disciple.
So, what do you choose?
If you are married or divorced, you have hundreds and thousands of things large and small to forgive.
For those of you who have held on to a grudge against someone for a long time—maybe your entire adult life—I call on you now to forgive. I call on you to release that grudge and desire for vengeance. Pray for his or her good.
If you are holding grudges against family members, parents, siblings, children, I call on you to forgive them. You may have a sibling rivalry like Jacob and Esau—somehow your sibling always got the good end of things. I call on you to forgive that sibling.
If you who have been sexually molested, I call on you to forgive.
If someone stole your money or property, I call on you to forgive.
If you are divorced or separated, if a spouse has taken everything from you—your past, present, future, children, house, car, money—I call on you to forgive. Forgive them for your own sake so that you may be forgiven and enter heaven.
If a supervisor, company, colleague, or subordinate cost you your job, career, and security, I call on you to forgive so you can be a true disciple of Jesus.
The person you hate cost you dearly. Do not let them also rob you of Jesus. Do not let them take from you the kingdom of God and eternal paradise.
Pray
One of the best ways to forgive an enemy is to pray for her. Jesus said, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you” (Luke 6:27–28, ESV).
Moreover, you should pray for yourself: “Lord, I confess I have sinned against you by holding a grudge. I confess that my bitterness has been wicked. Lord Jesus, as you have forgiven me, I choose to forgive all who have sinned against me in the past, who sin against me in the present, and who sin against me in the future. Amen”