God is a jealous lover.
One of the most important things you need to know about God’s love is that it is a jealous love. It is an aspect of God’s love that few people understand or take into account.
Consider the difference between the love of close friends and the love in a romantic marriage. If I sit down with a close friend for lunch, and he mentions having enjoyable lunches with several other close friends over the last month, I’m happy for him. But if I sit down with my wife for lunch, and she mentions having enjoyable lunches with various men she is fond of over the last month, I’m not happy for her. Friendship and marriage are different relationships.
The love that God has for us is much more like romantic love than friendship love. He does not accept rivals.
Jealousy is defined as being “intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness” (Webster’s). A second sense is, “fiercely protective or vigilant of one’s rights or possessions” (The Online Dictionary).
As our Creator and the Savior who loves us infinitely and has purchased us with his blood, God has rights to us. We are his beloved, his possession. He will not smile upon unfaithfulness.
God is jealous
God reveals the jealousy of his love most clearly in his instruction about idols. Concerning the idols of the nations, God commanded Moses: “You shall tear down their altars and break their pillars and cut down their Asherim (for you shall worship no other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God)” (Exodus 34:13–14, ESV). God is not only jealous; his very name is Jealous. That means his nature is jealous; his identity is jealous. His love for his people is so great, so intense, so all-consuming, that he will not tolerate rivals. He is fiercely protective of our relationship with him and our affection for him.
That is flattering. Who else loves you that strongly? Get ahold of that, and you will never have problems with self-respect or significance. The God of the universe, the greatest being in existence, loves you so much that he is jealous for your attention, worship, and affection. He is jealous for your love not in a needy, weak, immature way—which is of course impossible—but rather in the holy way of guarding what rightly belongs to him alone.
Jesus is jealous
Both the Old Testament and the New affirm God’s jealous love.
Jesus said, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:37).
He also said, “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money” (Matthew 6:24).
As this verse suggests, the New Testament speaks not only of the idolatry of worshiping statues but also the idolatry of loving anything or anyone in this world as much or more than God. What is our ultimate concern? What do we really live for? If it is anything or anyone but God in Christ, then it is an idol that provokes God’s jealousy. As I said, this is very important.
Idols that are not statues
We see more about this in Philippians 3:18–19 where the apostle Paul describes the behavior of people who are “enemies of the Cross of Christ”: “Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.” This verse again teaches that idolatrous gods are not just statues and literal idols, but rather any desire or passion that masters us, for which we supremely live. In this case Paul said it was these people’s belly. They lived for food. Not only that, their minds were “set on earthly things.” Their thoughts and preoccupations revealed that their ultimate concern in life was not God but the world and its pleasures.
Obviously there is nothing wrong with food or satisfying our hunger. The problem for these people was the degree of their focus on food and worldly things compared to their professed love for God.
The apostle Paul speaks further about excessive desire in Ephesians 5:5–6: “You may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.”
This is serious. Paul says covetous, greedy people are idolaters, and they are not going to inherit God’s kingdom. That means they will not be saved. Remember, the last of the Ten Commandments was “You shall not covet” (Exodus 20:17). This is an especially important warning for us in America, for we live in a culture of more, more, more. Greed is so accepted and applauded and normal in our culture, and so encouraged by advertising, that it can be difficult to recognize in ourselves.
When Paul speaks about being “covetous” in the verse above, he is not just referring to the desire a person has for the possessions of others; he is also referring to excessive desire for wealth and possessions, that is, to greed. That is the dual meaning of the Greek word translated “covetous” above (pleonektēs).
Contentment
That God’s love is jealous does not mean true Christians must take a vow of poverty. It does not mean a wealthy person must give away all his or her possessions (in America, most are wealthy by historical or third-world standards). It does not mean we should feel guilty or lost if we want something. The real question is do we really love God? Do we truly desire more of him and the things of God? Do we delight in him? Are we content with having him, his kingdom, and salvation?
If that is so, everything else will have its proper place in our hearts. Money and possessions will simply be tools for which we give thanks to God and which we use for his purposes. In that case, God wants us to enjoy them and glorify him by giving thanks.
That’s Paul’s message in 1 Timothy 6:17–19: “As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.”
See also 1 Timothy 4:3–4.
A person can be rich but thoroughly content with having God, and able therefore to be generous and focused on God. Another rich person can be greedy, covetous, stingy, and never satisfied. Likewise, a person can be poor but greedy, covetous, stingy and consumed with money and things. Another poor person can be content with having God.
My practice when buying something I would like to have but don’t need in order to survive, such as a tech or entertainment item, is to ask God if it is okay for me to buy it and then wait a few days, weeks, or months. I have waited years before buying some things. I want to be sure I am in the place in my soul where I am not more focused on this thing than I am on God, and where I am completely content and happy in God, and where I am not pinning my hopes for happiness on something in this world. When I can take it or leave it and I feel peace about buying it, and God is not leading me to give my surplus money elsewhere or save it, then I feel I have the green light if I still want to buy it for the glory of God—the glory he receives when I give him thanks and enjoy his kindness. In this case, God’s love has nothing to be jealous of for I am consciously enjoying his kindness as such, not merely enjoying this thing, and I am loving him for it.
Guarding your affections
You must know your heart. You must prayerfully discern whether you have a problem with greed and covetousness. This is as serious as living in unrepentant sexual sin or thievery or bitterness. God’s love is jealous. He wants all your heart. Jesus said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment” (Matthew 22:37–38).
If your love for God is not your first love, he knows it and he is jealous (see Revelation 2:4).
If your love for this world is hot but your love for God is lukewarm, he knows it and is jealous. (see Revelation 3:15–22)
He wants you to love him the way that he loves you.
If you recognize a problem with your desires, I urge you to meditate on and even memorize all the Scriptures above and below, for the Word and the Spirit have the power to change our affections.
The apostle James wrote: “1 What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. 4 You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. 5 Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, ‘He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us’?” (James 4:1–5, ESV).
The apostle John wrote: “15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. 17 And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever” (1 John 2:15–17).
Jesus said, “14 And as for what fell among the thorns, they are those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature” (Luke 8:14).
Hebrews 13:5–6 says: “5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ 6 So we can confidently say, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?’”
Our way and God’s way
Our way: Fallen mankind wants to love the world and its pleasures as much as, or more than, God. Fallen people want to love God and idols.
God’s way: God will not accept spiritual adultery. His love is a jealous love.
Life principle: God’s infinite love offered to us in Christ requires that we change our loves. We must guard our hearts against loving anyone or anything with the intensity that we love God.
I invite you to read my weekly posts about
knowing God and his ways better.
—Craig Brian Larson
Thank you Pastor Brian for this great message. It was very encouraging extremely insightful. Appreciate your weekly post and all the scripture that comes with it.